Chosen Fume(s)

BoA with Dukus

2011-04-03T19:42:00.001+01:00

PC verse on this dirt beat by Kemm with UK nangster Dukus Dead Bully fame.

Track called BoA. Bang it.

Soundcloud

Chosen Fume + Dukus "BoA" by Chosen Fume

If you ain't already, subscribe to the YouTube channel and click 'like' on the Facebook Page THANKS!

New Bangs tuune

2011-03-18T15:04:00.002Z

WOW. I can't believe I haven't spotted this before..

BANG

2011-03-13T14:53:00.001Z

Peter Piper picked a mutant pepper

Chosen Fume

Food Friday

2011-03-11T19:29:00.001Z

made with real ingredients - fancy that for a change

Eat up

Chosen Fume

Murda

2011-03-01T18:23:00.000Z

You know the music scene is fucked when since 2006 a track this sick has amassed a mere 140,000 hits.

Mr Brain's Pork Faggots

2011-02-28T22:48:00.000Z

Because you asked for it!

"Lap up the sauce" says Mr Brain.

"You look like a gay nazi inmate"

2011-02-22T12:42:00.001Z

Facebook newsfeed

Chosen Fume

Oh it's a Chosen Fume & Dukus ting

2011-02-14T01:31:00.004Z

Recording with Dukus of Dead Bully

Oh it's a recording ting

Oh it's a software ting

Oh it's half a vesica pisces ting

Oh it's a tongue up your ting ting

Oh it's a Ché ting

Oh it's a light emanating bling stick ting

Oh it's another f***ing rapper with a baseball bat ting

Look out for the track - coming to stereos near you as soon as you download it once we've uploaded it.

Chosen Fume
www.facebook.com/chosenfume

Xcursion Boss Up

2011-01-18T19:52:00.000Z

sick beat sick track dont sleep

Food

2011-01-15T21:50:00.001Z

Brunch

Chosen Fume

Bristol's got talent, AGAIN

2011-01-06T11:27:00.016Z

SOPHIE BROWN ?

For those of you not in the know who live in the now and who's looking for a new artist to grow fond of, look no further than Bristol born Sophie Brown aka Fille de la Lune. With legends like Massive Attack, Portishead and Tricky (though not Bonobo as apparently he's gay and from Brighton) to its name, there's got to be something in the water down there. Whatever it is it's evident little miss Brown got her fair share - 2011 will hopefully see a lot more people picking up on the blatant potential of this pint-sized powerhouse.

The Bristol born singer turned London lass is nothing short of a seriously talented singer/songwriter with bounds of potential. Her voice packs a punch, a surprisingly potent one considering her petite frame.

Grit

Listening to the opening stanza of "You Know It Makes Me Cry" made me rewind to make sure it was actually her singing. Her range dips unexpectedly low. Combined with a warm vinyl crackling upper range it gives her a unique sound that should be developed further. Sophie Brown sings soulful harmonies in a kind of laid-back, effortless manner that soothes the ear. The real Sophie Brown shines when she injects it with subtle voice acrobatics that proves she has control of her instrument. The whole thing cuts through the air with a distinct grit reminiscent of Amy Winehouse. That's no small compliment.

But Amy Winehouse is still alive and the world is in no need of another Winehouse. Yet it's hardly an issue as the two are far from similar performers. It's hard to imagine Sophie thrashing about, swearing at the audience and staggering off stage a bottle of Jack later. Yet perhaps a little more edge on stage wouldn't be all that bad either.

Sophie has got character, and it would be a shame not to utilise it. Thus Sophie's challenge, and potential, lies in spending one-on-one time with her voice, getting active in the studio trying all kinds of techniques and styles. Once she has unlocked the full potential of her voice, as well as opened up a bit more on stage, she'll be a difficult decibel to ignore.

A short clip from Sophie Brown's December gig at Deptford's infamous Birds Nest pub

What's next?

Brown impresses with the fact that she writes her own songs. I'm a hard nut to please when it comes to words, but Brown holds her own - another tick in the box for industry scouts.

Being versatile can be a good thing if you do it right, or it could make you wishy-washy if you spread yourself too thin. Sophie Brown is excellent whether backed by a full live band, an acoustic guitar or collaborating with hiphop artists, such as on the track below where she features on New Cross wordsmith Kate Tempest's track "Ain't Hard". I'm curious as to what she does next - I can easily see her go in a lot of directions. In 2011 I'd be exited to hear some interesting cross-genre collabos, perhaps a few tracks written for other artist as well as new solo tracks, and not to mention live gigs. Nothing shapes an artist and gets people talking like live gigs.

Bagging original material, good looks and a genuine air, A&Rs would be lazy not to attend a few gigs. Equally, aspiring artists would be crazy not to jump at the chance of bagging some guest vocals before she's too big for your budget.

Sophie Brown deserves recognition and a wider audience, and I'm sure she'll get it. You can catch her next with her live band Saturday 12th February at the Cavendish Arms. She will be playing alongside this sick new band and yours truly. The gig will be recorded and released digitally so get down there to be a part!

Kate Tempest feat. Fille de la Lune - Ain't hard

Beat by London production outfit Handpicked

Chosen Fume

No diggedy

2011-01-04T23:28:00.001Z

SNUS

When writing rhymes you need fuel.

Berserker

Chosen Fume

New band "Mr. Kick Snare" impresses

2011-01-03T01:33:00.003Z

Had the pleasure of seeing this new assembly in December. Their stuff is way too good to sit on my device so do your share for underground music and spread that shit, share it, whore it, link it, blog it, talk about it.

"Mr. Kicksnare" is the name of the band.

safe

Chosen Fume
www.facebook.com/chosenfume

Oslo Grind

2011-01-02T21:11:00.002Z

New NYE dance gets popular in Oslo

Fred Fades on the decks

Merry Jul

Lil Wayne provokes racism

2011-01-02T16:15:00.000Z

You've got to love youtube comments:

"I wish he fucking would. All he does is talk through his fucking 'songs', he sounds like a fucking idiot. Don't get me started on the goddamn way he fucking looks like a yard ape. Lil Wayne makes me racist, which is bad because I'm black."

'Ringtum Rappers' goes Detroit

2010-11-20T18:36:00.000Z

WHOOOA!!! Crap Rap Crew and RINGTUM RAPPERS are BACK with another smashing sexy tune for yous to get down and dirty to.

This time we go Detroit, or like T-Baby - our star for the evening - dubs it: "the D".

"So Cold in the D" has got to be one of the most fucked up videos I've seen in a long time. It's so bad it's a hit. 2,591,109 - that's the view count. And it ain't because of her singing. Or perhaps that's just what it is.

The beat is actually pretty decent - very much unlike anything else in this video. You've gotta give it to her though, T-Baby has a pack of PENG pigeons popping in the packground down for whateva. Graveyard shifts. Liquor pourin. Ridin.

But forget the video, just listen, and listen close when she flows (she has mad styles - just like Meth!) and try to keep up with her as she tries to stay on the beat throughout the WHOLE track. Not an easy task.

The only reason I don't feel real bad about slagging off this banger of an RIP record is the fact that even the girls in the background can't keep a straight face during her hooks. Let's face it, it must be so fucking cold in the D people can't even sing. Now that's cold.

If this video ain't making your day then I don't know what will. Make sure you watch the faces of these two cats as they watch her video for the first time. Priceless.

And with the wisest words of the day I'll leave it at that:
"How the fuck do we 'posed to keep peace?" T-Baby

Peace. Fume

Poetry in the Park

2010-11-18T08:37:00.000Z

Gareth Estoin Storey serves up a rather special vision at Kid I Wrote Back's Shoreditch Park.

More gems like this are lined up and waiting to be dropped, so keep checking the YouTube channel for more poetry, parks and peculiar ponderings by poets and thinkers alike.

- Top o the mornin to ya -

Drew's house

2010-11-15T01:10:00.001Z

Day off work with Big tunes at Deptford Drew's house.

Bootsy V.S. Eazy E

2010-10-26T23:21:00.001+01:00

It's been way too long since I've listened to some good old Eazy E but today on a friend's FB wall I stumbled across this gem:

..then for some reason I clicked click this gem:

..which made me remember that the track I was actually thinking about was THIS gem:

..and after that I started thinking about the Friday soundtrack and once on that train there was no way around playing this badass track:

I suggest you get high and get someone in between the sheets for this one.

DIE ANTWOORD is the ANSWER

2010-08-28T15:55:00.003+01:00

I have a new favourite group of fuckwits who made it: DIE ANTWOORD

Feast on this and get hooked like fishmouth.

UPDATE: I admit i'm still not quite sure if this is some next acting skills or a genuine trio

Greetings to Asher from Platitas for showing me rudeheads

read his blog | listen to his beats | get on his nuts

This week on 'Ringtum Rappers'

2010-08-13T12:35:00.004+01:00

From the continent of Africa we bring you two of the baddest boys in the town of Rap.

One "spits flows every day whachutalkinbout",
the other "wants to take you to de mooooooooovie shortey"!

BIG CHOONES! NANG! HYPER!! WHOOOOOA!!!

Crap Rap Crew, keepin our lugholes to the gutter for YOU.

Stow: the next big ting

Bangs: Giggs better watch out, this guy might take him OUT!

If the blog has cropped these videos it's merely due to the sheer talent of both Bangs and Stow. They simply cannot be contained. We suggest you watch them in full-screen. This way you might be able to fully appreciate the stunning visuals that so rightfully enhance these lyrical wizards. Possibly.

Brixton night with Mowgli

2010-05-20T13:59:00.002+01:00

Brixton 2nite: MOWGLI's gig (http://events.myspace.com/Event/4343633/THE-GO-GAME-LATE-NIGHT-THURSDAY--BRIXTON-VILLAGE ) then we hop down the street 2 attend my own show at Jack Blackburn's insane night (http://events.myspace.com/Event/4298609/Brixton-Pound-Shop ) where I will read you my now legendary misanthropic musings which are sure to make you want 2 get involved with bukkake. Do pop along!

Release party for new track tonight!

2010-04-23T13:36:00.001+01:00

Yes fam, Chosen Fume, that's me, and HandPicked crew are having a pre-release party for our new track "Gi me fitte", a brand new VIKING DUBSTEPRAP beast of a club banger. Where? the Bunker Club on Deptford Broadway tonight. Get ready to get hyped on a massive dupstep and hip-hop mashup with a Viking twist unlike anything you've ever heard before. We're also filming tonight so get your breastesses out and flash us!

Expect the rowdiest dirtiest show you've sine since Bill Hicks on a trip.

Ain't for the faint hearted!

Drinks are cheaper than chips and at £1.50 for single and £2.50 for double you can't avoid getting smashed on a budget.

I go on stage at 12.30, but get there earlier as the DJs will be banging out some next hype tunes!

WAR

Chosen Fume

Check out the FB page more info and madness: CLICK TO GO

Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal

2010-04-20T21:37:00.008+01:00

Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal

What a totally mental feeling to feel a sense of loss for someone you've never met or haven't even experienced live, you might think.

Guru, in the form of Gang Starr, and more importantly, the Jazzmatazz collection, has since my earliest days as a hip-hop head exerted more positive influence on me and my musical direction than is measurable.

Guru is a man who spoke positivity and inspiration, and whose love-child Jazzmatazz set the soundtrack to so many years of my adolescence. Jazzmatazz put the stars in my eyes.

A sequel to be proud of
I've grown up in a small town that hosts one of Europe's oldest annual jazz festivals, I've gone to that festival since I was in a nappy. Jazz is in my blood. My grandmother played me Otis Redding, Aretha Franklin, Louis Armstrong, and Dixieland jazz on cassettes and vinyl. When I at that pivotal point in my life had my eyes ripped wide open by hip-hop, Guru showed me that when jazz and hip-hop come together it's inspirational and powerful. How many groups and artists haven't had the exact same epiphany after picking up the first installation of Jazzmatazz, the vol.I record? And then vol.II... I mean -WOW. That's a sequel to be proud of.

THAT needs to be recognised, and paid tribute to. One particularly bright spark of energy in the great constant has shape shifted and the fact that he is no longer there for us to picture as a living human being walking around somewhere on a stage or in a studio making music makes that concept hard to grasp.

A soundtrack that spans a decade

But MAN do I look forward to delving into his discography again, remembering back in the days, digging the records back to back, on repeat, walking alone in the dark at night, memorising his lyrics and rapping it back to impress girls at parties and in cyphers with my crew. F**k me man, I've had a LOT of good times to these albums.

So in solidarity to those that actually did know him and that have seen him live and feel a greater sense of loss than I do, I extend my condolences and bow in the dust of one rapper that has made life that much cooler to live.

R.I.P. GURU

In the studio with Dan the Man from Handpicked

2010-04-13T01:43:00.000+01:00

Well well well, another day in the south east has passed by as they ding dang do, many cubic meters of dirty water has hurried underneath, past, through or in between the Thames barrier, and one man has accomplished something quite past extraordinary.

In short: Hand Picked studios was today's crime scene centre as Chosen the Barbarian took to the mic like no man has taken to the M.I.C. before him lay a land, VINLAND

Tracks were layn daun auver Thee soothing wardurumwheatdrums and Norsemen ashored for sure and surely left an impression built to last

It is now only one thing left to do, wait. Take a deep breath, hold it in for 5 seconds repeat five times do this every day and you WILL have better lungs

So dearests, wait, wait, wait, for the track is upon thee and thy shalt not be left in the dark for too long. The release is imminent, cliffhanging and waiting to drop. Halleluja!

Balanced with the right kind of crew

2010-04-07T13:55:00.005+01:00

Now look here: I am a balanced man: Facebook fans:

Male fans 50%

Female fans 47%

WTF are the 3 rest then? Embryos? Cool! I've got fans inside a womans special hiding place! That's bloody great. I feel honoured now. How can I celebrate? A beer? Will that not hurt them? What about a whisky? Same I'm sure. Hmmm. Mephedrone? YES, before it's made illegal. LET'S DO PLANTFOOD UP OUR NOSES! I'm totally PLANT now it's great. You should try it it's peerpressurepleasure it means you've got an excuse.

meow meow

"only 3 percent of embryos were likely to be donated for scientific research." it says here.

Think about that whilst you balance it out at

Chosen Fume on Facebook

Next performances

2010-03-27T19:14:00.015Z

Chosen Fume reads selected texts and visions from his classics such as

"The Effect of the Fly Agaric - politics of an unmissable source of Norse Inspiration and Adventure"
"Loud is NOT Lewd - a Skald tells Tales from London"
"The Code of the Blond Samurai"

Not to be missed.

"Misanthropy and everyday observations by a man at the helm of gutter glam"
Mowgli (www.myspace.com/mowgliUK)

"This night is for all successful twats who love to gloat at less fortunate misfits whilst guzzling Guinness and capers"
Simon Fuller

"Open mic of spoken word and music + special guest S P Howarth!! As recommended by the BBC!!!! Hosted by me. It is ones royal duty to be there!" - Dennis Just Dennis, host and poet

1.
The Queens Speech

Thursday 1st April, 8pm @ The Queens Head Pub
144 Stockwell Road
Cost: FREE

"Open mic of spoken word and music + special guest S P Howarth!! As recommended by the BBC!!!! Hosted by Dennis Just Dennis. It is ones royal duty to be there"

2.
Kid, I wrote back
London's new open mic spoken word night

Monday 5th April, 7pm-10pm @ Bar Kick,
127 Shoreditch High Street
E1 6JE

£3 on the door/ free to perform

"With treats for your ears and minds already on the line-up including the 2008 International Farrago slam champion Ray Antrobus, as well as the must-have surprises on the night, we're itching with excitement to return for the third instalment to round off the Easter weekend. And three, after all, is the magic number..."

Post graff report

2010-03-15T03:19:00.003Z

just came back to deptford after trekking way up Edgware end. i thought i was going to edgeware road tube stop zone two. Sixteen tube stops later and we're in zone-FIVE-Edgeware. I didn't even know that a different Zone Five Edgeware existed. Then later i learn that Z5 Edgware IS Edgware road, and stretches over 3, 4 zones. Long.

Big shout to Skin who painted a "Grime Daily Show" dub soon to appear as the backdrop of Grime TV, shouts to Donnatella of the Grime fam, to Simon at BlingWear and whoever brought those heaters out. Lifesaver.

Footage to follow, so follow us fellow followers, for now I'm shooting off to the fields where the dreams swallow us

lights out.

Grime Daily Sunday Graff-up

2010-03-14T19:10:00.003Z

Just got a call from my mate who's painting Grime Daily's studio tonight wondering if I wanted to join. Since i've been dusting my records all damn day I figured aint nothing better than skanking out with a graff mod jamming with some tunes, fumes and meeting the guys themselves.

lavley

shank sheit

2010-02-03T10:22:00.003Z

Last week I took a trip down the road to Chemo's studio in Camberwell, South East London to record a new track of mine called Meteorite. The idea was to submit the track to a moviesoundtrack competition, which I did, and win, which I didn't.

Now what wisdom can I take away from this rich experience? Well, remembering the most modest of utterings from the mouth of Ghostface Killa, babies ain't ready for steak.

Now grow up/

Sorry

2010-01-26T00:24:00.003Z

Due to a ridiculous mess-up the gig last night had to be cancelled - APOLOGIES to the legends who defied the rain, their hangovers and came down only to be sent home. You know who you are.

Watch Captain Fume violate a bird's nest

2010-01-23T20:15:00.005Z

Next gig:The Bird's Nest, Deptford 20:00

I'm here for the midget

2009-11-19T23:53:00.007Z

Ladies and roughmen!

The next official Chosen Fume gig is this Sat 21st Nov @ the New Cross Inn.

PH7 and the Neutral Zone has returned to New Cross Inn and I'll be tearing the fucking house down. Ah, btw, the first 100 people to say "I'm here for the midget" on the door gets in for free. Get there for 10.30-11 to avoid crocodile tears.

Get yourselves down and make some god damned noise too cause this gig broadcasts LIVE from New Cross to the rest of the planet.

Aaight, that's it for now, hope to see your lovely mugs in the crowd and on stage tearing it up!

PEACE!

Other acts are:
Orgen Donners
The Cleaners
Japenimals
and PH7

check out more info on acts at www.ph7radio.com

Whispers of the virtual

2009-11-02T00:31:00.005Z

Safe brehs and brehrins, word in cyber space whispers silent binary codes of a coming feature article on the Fume in Sweet and Sound. Could be all but rumours, though yet again, could be a composite of its binary opposite.

In the meanwhile, dig this old video of my family members Zashiki Warashi (Mikey and Aki) featuring yours truly on a live collabo Beethoven rework of my New Cross homage "Dawndusker".

More news to follow in the days to follow. So follow. Follow?

Peace. CF

Man Pig.

2009-10-29T21:19:00.001Z

112 year old man marries 17 year old

Shoreditch Fume and Brassroots

2009-10-29T16:45:00.005Z

1 cubic meter of blood takes a long time

2009-10-19T10:33:00.002+01:00

Bollox. It would take me 200 years to tap one cubic meter of my own blood. Like I've got time for that...

A morning of mixed määähh

2009-09-07T06:32:00.037+01:00

7 am and the alarm goes off. If it went off in words it would have to be something along the lines of "AAAHHH!!!!!!!HELP!!!!GOOD MORNING!!!!!!AAAHH!!!!!AGAIN!!!!!!AAAAAH!!!!!YOU!!!!!YES,YOU!!!!!!!OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD!!!!CANYOUHEARME?!?!!!!!GET UP!!!!!NOWWWW!!".

0_0 I thought and screamed to get back at it, then with an annoyingly nonviolent push of a button; new alarm time: 07.11 am. Good night.

The alarm inevitably rang again and I staggered out of bed with halitosis hot enough to floor a musk but no time for Colgate or Listerine. I was getting up to drive a family member to work, this is empirically speaking a bit early for me to get up and the fact that I'd had around 5 hours of sweat-dripping, arm-flailing Grand Slam fun on the new Wii last night didn't help on the heaviness of the eyelids. Nor did the following obligatory long distance relationship mobile phone/SMS/Skype-argument either. I went to bed 1.30am. "T minus 5 hours, 30 minutes and counting".

It definitively didn't start out as a good day. I got up, thought the house was strangely empty, wandered around aimlessly until I found no one waiting to be driven off to work. I had a pondering piss and somewhere in the cracks and crevices of my cerebral cortex I encountered a shabby memory of someone saying my sister would do it instead. Great.

I made my way out, more scowling than yawning, and found that I had mail. I don't know anyone who's not exited about getting mail, and seeing that I've been growing grumpier by the day impatiently and unfruitfully waiting for two weeks to receive the books I ordered, I was enthralled to finally find mail for ME. I couldn't wait to see which of the around ten books I ordered had arrived first. Just the thought of this circle-closing sequence superseded by another nine mornings of postal treasure hunting made the glaring sun seem dull in comparison. I might even have contemplated smiling for a second.

Happy at last to have the Robert Cialdini classic in my hands I retired to my room and logged on to the WWW only to find a message from my mate telling me the September 11th festival gig he'd booked me for months ago wasn't happening anymore. Last night I wrote him asking "so what's up with the gig, I haven't heard from you for time". The reply I got was "Well it's fully booked now and as I hadn't heard from you I thought you didn't want to do it". JUST F****** GREAT.... Sod this.

I could have sworn I saw Faith driving up and down my street making faces at me before she sped off leaving behind her the image of an impeccably manicured middle fifth of a fist. My radioactive sourness made the milk curdle in a nearby cow. The fact that my soundtrack, making its sodden way out of my grandmother's downstairs radio this very second, is that fantastic Eurovision fiddle Fairytale fucksong -sorry; folk song, officially makes this morning the best ever. And you wonder why people lose faith in God. A very merry Christmas to the lot of you.

Mommy I'm gonna be in a video!

2009-08-14T20:36:00.007+01:00

So guess you'll be seeing my ugly mug on the screen then... flailing my arms around getting in touch with my gorilla gene. Gotta avoid the clichés though... no little people on skateboards, half naked women in thongs, dogs in chains, or cop/villain chase scenes.

But what kind of fun is that?

Laughing at midgets who can jump higher on seven layers of canada maple and sand paper than I can using my own two legs is alot of fun when you can suffocate the laughter with a breast or two when you really get hyperventilating. And there's nothing like pretending a pack of posessed rabies packing pets actually obey your orders to kill a copper in a crappy look-a-like uniform.

Then again, I could just dress up in a long blond wig, an open cotton kimono, a pair of huge dark square sunglasses and a meter long 'replica' of a samurai sword bought at the Epcot centre or Disney Land as a souvenir then proceed to run down a main high street in London convinced that I'm in a videogame as the main protagonist, the Blond Samurai.

But, no... that'd just be plain stupid.

Happy Fridays, I'm off to celebrate.

"If China" shortlisted in UK music competition

2009-08-12T18:00:00.010+01:00

What's up folks!

"If China", one of my tracks, was just shortlisted in a UK contest where the winner is awarded with a music video shoot for the track submitted. The track is produced by the true talent HandyCat (perhaps the world's only talented female beatmaker) and featuring the sick jazz flutist Mikey Kirkpatrick from my collaborator group Zashiki Warashi. I'll find out Friday if I've won or not, untill then!

You can find "If China" on the official Chosen Fume site on Facebook or on the good old MySpace.

Fingers crossed fam..!

peace,
CF

Crazy dancing techno lady

2009-07-11T19:25:00.011+01:00

This woman was raving it up between toddlers and grownups at this festival I played at yesterday.

The word 'role model' springs to mind.

So… After having nearly wet myself from laughing at this year’s hotly tipped winner of ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ I started questioning the whole thing. You know, uploading this clip onto Youtube, broadcasting it, poking fun at a drugged up midlife crisis’ raving antics. HUGELY amusing, but who am I to laugh at her?

London student life has given me ample opportunities to hone my spot-the-trip skills and it’s obvious that this woman was on a cerebral chemical romance of a certain sort. Because nobody behaves like that unless they’re on drugs. Well, unless, of course, they’re shameless. I made an utterly (but naturally very lonely) spectacle of myself at an Aya Napa dance floor some 10 years ago.

A few of the people watching were convinced I was on drugs as indeed I was the only one on the dance floor, and I was indeed dancing h a r d . They came over curious to find out what extravaganza was filling me up with such beaming confidence and (probably not so) remarkable dancing skills (commonly known as ‘being high’). I told them this machine was fuelled only by alcohol and Red Bull and was subsequently labeled a liar.

The point is, can it be that Crazy Dancing Techno Lady’s journey through the Fortified Fields of Funk merely was alcohol induced? Hardly. Her gaze tells it all and a minute into the clip it’s as if she’s in a very, very serious place and it seems a bit like she has to perform a strict set of gestures and dance moves in order to pass through the gates of the 5th Dimension. Alcohol alone doesn’t do that. And the fact that she was in between loads of kids makes it a viable reason to out her on the web and poke some fun. Doesn’t it?

Having said that, I am also ‘that cousin’ who fearlessly but regrettably introduced the Spastic Spinal Moshpit-dance at my cousin’s wedding to his guest’s horror and my family’s discredit, again, fuelled only by an unhealthy appetite for fine wines and whiskey-cokes, a healthily stacked bar and a huge talent at introverting into a (to me) completely logical reality then forcing it onto innocent bystanders. I definitely deserve to be named, shamed and framed. Then again, there are numerous films available of me behaving ridiculous, so it’s not like I’m dishing it out to others being all hypocrite about it. I kind of laugh at it though when it involves me, I even take some kind of boyish pride in it though certain members of my family and past and present girlfriends are sure to feel otherwise.

Though luckily, to years of parental frustration I’ve never had the restrictive pleasure of befriending Shame, and perhaps I and Crazy Dancing Techno Lady have something in common there. Regardless if she was on a serious serotonin binge or just high on life she was, as The Flintstones theme goes, sure as hell having a gay old time. Especially when she noticed I was filming her (see 01:22 into the clip). She bloody loved it... no shame to find there. And isn’t that what life should be about? Enjoying oneself without worrying about all the rules and socially limiting conventions that tend to govern our every move?

To me Crazy Dancing Techno Lady is one of those people that will light up any grey and rainy day making it worth driving four sober hours only to play one lousy song during which I will fall backwards over the monitors mid sentence trying to make it look like I meant it, and with the added nuisance of having no possibility to drink to forget it afterwards. Yes, Crazy Dancing Techno Lady, you saved the day you. I want to propose a big wet Skål!! for you being there in your absolute state of intoxication and kudos for being a Dame about being caught on camera. I hope you continue to preach your humble gurning gospel of hedonism and keep standing up against the A4’s regardless if you scare a few kids. After all, kids are either eventually scarred by their parents or their teacher, or both.

Whatever it was you were on that day I hope you enjoyed it thoroughly and I suggest all stale,brittle and boring over forties who read this to follow in her footsteps. Send your kids to granny’s house for the extended weekend and take some time out to dust off your blue suede shoes and get ready to re-live what it really felt like being alive. And please do so in the middle of a family festival so that when I am having a shitty day I can smile and laugh at your sillyness then later feel a bit bad for doing so. And I shall do my very best to immortalize it and air it far and wide on the wonderful web of this wretched world.

See what I did there? Safe flights.

-Chosen Fume-

Berserker

2009-06-24T13:04:00.011+01:00

Berserker, living legend. A modern day rap-Viking if ever there was one.

Bare jokes:

Some of you might know this track we did together back in 2005 called "Floating Strength" produced by the always excellent Sinista Switch. I've uploaded it as a video (as blogger doesn't allow mp3 uploads at the moment).

Check Berserker's Myspace

Peace,
-Chosen Fume-

London is alive - in Oslo

2009-06-10T11:37:00.005+01:00

When I returned to Oslo from London in Januray, my man Son Of Light (previously N-Light-N, and in my opinion Norway's greatest rapper) introduced me to this guy called Bunzi D. Man said he was from London, turns out he's from bloody Peckham, literally five minutes down the road from where I've been decaying. I never thought I'd run into a guy from Peckham living in cold ass Oslo, especially not a rapper from Peckham.

This is his latest video. Enjoy

-Chosen Fume-

Bunz D just a beat

It’s typically Norwegian to be great?

2009-06-08T09:55:00.012+01:00

After nearly six years gone I’ve got to say it’s odd being back in Norway. I've realised it's such an insignificant little country but with the ego of a continent. The other day I was reminded about a pretty ridiculous quote Norwegians love to use (but what's worse is that it was actually Norway's prime minister Gro Harlem Brundtland who said it in her 1992 New Year's speach...):
“It’s typically Norwegian to be great”.

Is it?

It’s typically Norwegian to consider oneself to be exceedingly important and one that others should listen to. In the grand scale of things Norway is a spec on the outskirts of the map, but with a burning fear of not being taken seriously by the rest of the gang. Unfortunately for the Norwegian pride, we're far outshined culturally by neighbours Sweden and Denmark. Sure, we too have got the Vikings, but come on. Vikings were degenerate brutes skilled in the noble art of rape, murder and pillaging. Bloody great sailors. Cultural equivalents of Saukrates and Plato?

I have to admit I like the Viking approach much more than I like the way Norway cries for world attention and demands to be taken very seriously as a major player. Norway is like a child desperately looking for approval from an older sibling but keeps acting like it’s better than him/her which only results in pissing the other part off. But it’s not just an export thing. Rappers living here are pretty amusing too. Welcome to the internal world of the hip-hop-giant, Norway.

A lot of rappers in Norway are massive worshippers of cultural America, or the USA to be specific. It’s comical how incredibly influenced some seem to be, and at the same time disturbingly embarrassing. The familiar stereotypes of the poor, criminal rapper V.S. the iced out party rapper has taken a rather peculiar twist over here, with people at both ends of the argument screaming their mantras, not realising that all they’re achieving is becoming caricatured versions of their childhood fixations (executed far better by the idols themselves).

At the one end you’ve got people with money rapping about having money and all the great things you can do with money. Like party and go on boats and drink champagne and get girls. Of course in their music videos they've hired the boats, hired the bar crowd, hired the bathtub with the the babes which again has bought their boobs. It comes as no surprise their biggest demographic is primary school children. At the moment I work in a primary school teaching the kids to rap, so I know.

At the other end you’ve got people who’s absolutely crap at rapping but want a shot at being a famous bad-man rapper talking about guns, drug deals, crime and BMW's, posing with guns and (again, hired) women in entertainingly pathetic photo shoots, or gesticulating angrily at the camera in music videos backed by their dangerous posses with pit-bulls in chains and very, very, very serious looks on their faces. Still, I'd listen to it if it was good and if the rapper could actually rap. But when the 'rapper' is the worst thing since Speak the Hungarian Rapper and still somehow being promoted as a new talent, I can’t avoid getting embarrassed, amused and provoked all at once.

There are of course the ones who actually can rap and that has stuff to say apart from all the dead-chewed topics we all know so well by now. However, there’s something annoying about them as well. It’s their magically massive talent at taking themselves extremely serious. The way it’s right now it’s not even day-time TV at its best. How come no one else is taking it back to the Viking realness like Berserker does, instead of trying to be something Norwegians aren’t? Come on, you’re a rapper living in Norway, rapping in Norwegian. How fucking important can you possibly think you are to the rest of the music world? Why the big-headedness? Be a bit humble and embrace that you’re nothing to no one outside of Norway. Nothing. Apart of course from a (possibly very annoying) inhabitant of a stubborn, little country at the edge of the world. Because it's first at this point of your (sadly) badly needed enlightenment that you are able to break out of the ignorance, start making global sense and actually become something to someone somewhere.

-Chosen Fume-

Hatching

2009-06-06T10:33:00.002+01:00

I realised half way to naked that I’d completely forgotten about the fever, the headache

I reckoned I was sweating because I was afraid

It was coming out

Probing out of my throat with a purple push

A bleeding, meaty seed more like a cocoon

Hatching inside my throat. Now it was ready to get out

I rested my head in the comfort of black satin, shut my eyes and woke up